I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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