no, he came in my armpit
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize