My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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