he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have aggressive nipples.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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