is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
