Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize