dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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