you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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