4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
