She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
