Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
