Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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