I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My vagina is very pro this idea
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
