thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
