consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
