Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
