Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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