My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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