U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
