Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
