sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
