just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize