So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
