Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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