suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
