$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
