Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
