Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize