The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Green mimosas i think yes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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