at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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