I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
