Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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