I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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