Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
