Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Congratulations! We have a period
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
