remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
