A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
