I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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