Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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