look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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