just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
