I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
