FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
