i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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