I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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