low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
