You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
