I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
