Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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