Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
