i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
