Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
