oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
