people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
