I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
