I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is my gift to your gina
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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