I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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