she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
