Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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