i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
