just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
