At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
