I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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